Over the edge
by TheMagnaka
Summary: Merlin have to make one big choice. Merlin whump, T for sure.
1. Prologue

_Ch1 is now rewrote, thank you my new beta TheJunebut1218._

_This is AU story but not slash, maybe hint of bromance so you can read that how ever you want. _

"Merlin, you have to wake up son. You are late already." Gaius knocked the door to wake up his ward. Half an hour later he just opened the door.

"Merlin, heaven's sake, you have to get up now."

The room was dark. It was an early winter morning so there was no light coming in even outside of window. Merlin lay in the bed, pulling the blanket over his head when the light on the other champers hit in.

"Headache, really bad headache." Gaius heard feeble muttering.

"Did you get a drink again last night with Gwaine?"

"Gods, no. Not after last month disaster. Never again, never." Merlin croaked. Gaius smiled.

"Then let me see you." Gaius pulled the blanket away and Merlin covered his eyes with his arm.

"Please, don't. The light, it's really hurting." Merlin moaned.

Gaius frowned, wrinkling his forehead. The light what was coming inside was so small that he barely saw Merlin.

"That must be really bad. Just try to show me your eyes. Easy. One eye? That's the boy. Oh my dear, let me see other one. Okay. "

Merlin turned and buried his face to pillow. Gaius patted his back helplessly.

"I'll inform Arthur that you are not capable to come today and get you some painkiller. Then I have to get some books to check what to do."

The voice of court physician was little bit too desperate and it woke Merlin's attention.

"Gaius?" He tried to look old man but when he opened his eyes the pain was overwhelming and he cried.

"Easy. Just relax. I got something. Maybe you should cover your eyes whit bandage or scarf."

"Gaius. What is wrong?" Merlin insisted to know, now.

"Ah, your eyes. The problem, uh, your eyes glow. Like when you do magic. I have to study. I have no clue what cause that. Or have you done some tricks again?"

"Tricks? Again? No! And I don't do magic right now either." Merlin was confused.

"Rightthen, just, lay down.I'll keep everybody out of here if I can."

Merlin didn't answer. He tried to be as still as possible. He felt like his head was ready to explode. Behind his eyes was the sharp pain. He tried to think, but it was useless. The pain took everything out of him.

When he got the medicine, he vaguely realized that Gaius had given him some sedative. But it helped. When he finally fell in sleep, the pain was eased.

**TBC**


	2. Birthday? What birthday?

_Thanks TheJunebug1218 being my beta._

_So, I continue this story. Ch3 come this week but then there is gonna be little break because my journey._

Arthur read the message and threw it away. He sighed. He looked the breakfast tray what has came late with the message. He didn't feel hungry anymore. The servant who hurriedly tried to clean his chamber looked little bit tense. Arthur didn't recognized him. It was odd that it wasn't Merlin. Arthur tried to remember when Merlin was gone last time. It had been time. After Morgana betrayed them, it felt like Merlin was always beside him. Or behind him actually. Moving in the shadows near the prince. Without him something was missing. He'd have to distract himself and soon, before he rushes to see Merlin even when Gaius had said that 'Merlin cannot meet anyone right now'. That he was sleeping now. There weren't plenty of jobs to do middle of the winter when the snow sealed the whole city of Camelot from the outside world. The winter was worst in centuries. It was lucky that the harvest had been so plentiful too. Arthur picked up the bread and put it in his pocket. Then he picked the apple and rushed out. Lots of servants were moving around the castle and there was mostly happy faces everywhere. The midwinter was coming and everyone waited and anticipated for the feast. When Arthur stepped outside he saw couple of knights to standing middle of the court. He identified Lancelot and Gwaine. They looked like they argued from something.

"Arthur, there you are. Good, Merlin wasn't here. We have to ask something from you." Gwaine yelled and Arthur winced. When Gwaine was up something, there were no good end of it.

"So, what it is _Sir _Gwaine?" Arthur teased.

"It is about Merlin's birthday of course." Gwaine looked shocked that Arthur wasn't guessed the subject. " Of course you remember his birthday. Don't you?"

Arthur's gaze floated sideways.

"Yes. Vaguely." He murmured. Lancelot's eyebrows rose.

"What did you say? How long you have been his friend?" Gwaine yelled.

"Friend?"

"Gods you are so dumb ass sometimes princess. Do you even know when his birthday is?"

"Ah, midwinter day?"

They looked sceptical.

"You just guessed it, right?" Lancelot noted.

"We haven't been, _friends_, so long. It's just that, he _is _my servant and I'm the prince and so. So we just… Yes, we are friends _now _of course, but before…" Arthurs voice trailed off. Gwaine grinned and slammed his hand on the Arthur's shoulder.

"So, you have lot to catch up, then."

Arthur wanted to melt away. Oh, this wasn't so good idea at all. Now he was doomed to do something really stupid.

"But where is that man any way?" Lancelot asked suddenly.

Arthur told them the message from Gaius.

"Maybe we can see him later today." Lancelot pondered. He remembered that Merlin was acted little bit odd the day before. They decided to visit to Merlin at evening.

"I'm freezing here. Can we go inside now?" Gwaine asked.

"No, we have a job to do. We get to go chop some firewood." Arthur grinned. " And you can tell me what you have planned to do for Merlin."

"Oh, you are going to love it."

()

Gaius closed the book and leaned back on his chair. After a while he rose and walked to look Merlin who still was sleeping. He sat beside of him and watched the boy. Merlin seemed calm now but Gaius knew that they will be some really hard couple of days before them. And the results of that was uncertain.

" Oh Merlin my boy, I afraid that you're going to need more help than what I can give you."

He grabbed the scarf and gently he tied it around the Merlin's head covering the eyes. Then he sat and waited Merlin to wake up.


	3. More than just headache

The headache woke Merlin and he opened his eyes. Then he realized that something was covering his eyes. He was about to panic when he heard Gaius's voice.

"Easy son. I took your scarf and made it shield your eyes from the light."

Merlin felt the hand over his shoulder.

"Gaius. How long have I slept?" His own voice echoed in his head, hurting.

"Not long. Not as long as I hoped. The sedative was strong and you should sleep until the morning but its only early evening. Is it the headache?"

"Yes. It's getting stronger. Do you have any idea what it is? Its something to do my magic, isn't it?"

"Yes, I afraid so. I found something that may be able to explain your condition, but…" Gaius cut off. He had to collect himself and everything that he has found together.

"But what?" Merlin demanded.

"First I looked something about sorcerer's knowledge. But then I realized that you are not an average sorcerer. I remembered what Kilgharrah said to you, that you are magic being. A creature of pure nature. One of the Old Region. Or part of you is anyway. What I found is pieces here and there." Gaius sounded unsure but Merlin placed his hand over Gaius hand.

"Go on. It sounds… right. " He encouraged, but he felt himself a little bit afraid.

"There are many old creatures who endure something similar what you are going through. They call it The Choice. "

"The Choice?"

"Those who are born with magic have to, in time, make the choice. The Choice between the good and the bad. The light and the dark. They have to do the choice what path they follow so that their destiny can be clear."

"What? No. But… I have already make my choice. My destiny is with Arthur, to protect him and aid him." Merlin was confused.

"Are you? Are you really? You are playing in the shadows Merlin. You haven't yet revealed yourself before anyone."

"I haven't."

"Yeah, because you are being careless and couple of us found out about you." Gaius snorted.

"The Druids know."

"Of course they know. They have their prophesy about Emrys and they think it's you. Maybe you really are. But the point is Merlin, you haven't told Arthur about anything."

They fell in silence.

"Was that everything." Merlin finally asked. He felt himself tired than before. The pain behind the eyes was now deeper.

"No."

"Then?"

"Your birthday is one clue."

"My birthday?" Merlin was totally forgotten his birthday. He rarely celebrated it.

"Your coming of age birthday is now, isn't?"

"Yes." Merlin sounded uncertain.

"You know that many people think that is some turning point of life. I don't think that it is coincidence that you are in this condition right now. It's a couple of days before you birthday."

"Maybe you are right, but what do I do now? What is going to happen to me?"

"It depends." Gaius hesitated.

"Depends what?"

"How powerful is the creature's magic."

"And, I'm powerful." Merlin noted.

"So, it's not going to be easy task to you. But I'm not sure what kind of trial you have to go through. I only know that it can end… badly."

"Badly?"

"If you fail your magic will eat you alive." Gaius closed his eyes, unwilling to see Merlin's reaction. There was long silence again.

"That doesn't sound so good. But if I survive this, what then?"

"Then your magic can be more powerful than it's now."

"More? How that even can be possible?" Merlin yelled and he felt the light hitting through his head.

"Merlin?"

"I'm okay, I think. It just hurts. Can you give me something?"

"No. It's not recommended."

"So, I have to just bear this."

"I'm sorry my boy." Gaius said but Merlin shook his head.

"Not your fault. So, I just have to wait and see what happens."

"I think so. Do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, I…" But the word cut off when he felt the sharp pain. He cried out and loud. His whole body twisted at the cramp.

"Merlin! Don't hurt yourself. Merlin!"

Merlin felt like his eyes were burning. Gaius held Merlin's hand when he tried to use his fingers to cave his eyes out of his head. A new sharp pain made Merlin's scream. He tried to wrench his hands free. Then he heard a new voice and the hold on his hands strengthening.

"Merlin. Stop this! Gaius? "

"Tie him. Here. Tie his hands."

"Gaius, please, please, help me! Let me sleep." Merlin begged, tears falling over his cheeks.

"I can't Merlin, I can't. You can do this Merlin. You have to go through this."

The pain. Even growing pain. Sharp, endless pain. Then, nothing.

They looked how Merlin's body suddenly relaxed. Gaius checked quickly the pulse.

"He fainted."

"Gaius. What is going on?" Arthur asked.

* * *

><p>TBC<p>

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><p><em>Now there is gonna be break because I'm not home couple of weeks, sorry…<em>


	4. Just keep it secret from Arthur

_Short chapter, sorry, but I just got back home. But I already work whit the next chapter so I hope soon…_

_Thanks TheJunebug1218_

* * *

><p>Gaius stared the prince.<p>

"Oh, ah, he…" For the first time in a long time he was totally out of words.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm not so sure." He finally said and looked at Merlin, who was now in a deep sleep.

"But we have to restrain him. Help me. Just hold his hands so that he can't hurt himself."

Arthur helped him and then Gaius realized that there was also Gwaine and Lancelot. They looked shocked. Arthur began to ask what had happened that morning and Gaius tried to answer and keep Merlin's secret at bay.

Meanwhile, Lancelot noticed something strange. He looked at the book beside him, on Merlin's desk. He took deep breath. The book was floating. Really floating above the desk. Only an inch or so, but still. Lancelot put the finger top of the book and pushed it down. He looked to Gaius and then he noticed how the table beside Gwaine began to rise. Then Lancelot made the decision and he beckon to Gwaine to look around him. The man looked at him oddly but he turned and his eyes spread. He looked Lancelot who shook his head and pointed Arthur. Gwaine sat down at cliff of the table what make terribly loud sound when it hit the floor. Arthur turned around.

"What was that?"

"Just me." Gwaine grinned and took notice how Gaius slammed his foot over the other book beside Merlin's bed.

"Arthur, Sire. You can't do anything now. You should go to sleep." Gaius patted Arthur's shoulder. Arthur looked again to Merlin and nodded.

"But call me if anything happens."

"Yes, yes. Go. Sleep. Ah, but I need some of help from your knights."

"Of course. Lancelot, Gwaine?"

Both mans agreed to stay and they watched till Arthur was gone, he hesitated at the door, but finally went away.

Gwaine rose and the table too. He looked around. Now all the items in the room were beginning to float, more or less. One more minute and Arthur would be asking very hard questions.

"Oh Merlin." Gaius sighed.

"I knew it." Gwaine chuckled and looked Lancelot. "You knew this?"

"Ever since I met Merlin. Gaius, what is wrong?"

Gaius sat down the chair and it slammed to the floor.

"Merlin is not a normal sorcerer. He is warlock. More magic creature than human. And it's his coming of age time. He has to make some decisions concerning himself and because of magic, it's not so simple a task."

"How long will this take?"

"Before his birthday is over."

"It sounded like everything could be over." Gwaine noted.

"Exactly. This _trial _is hard and it can end really badly. His power will grow. And if he can't make the right choice, that power will kill him."

They looked at the restless Merlin.

"I need somebody to look after him all the time. I have to study this more."

"I'll take it first. But Gaius, you should sleep a little bit. You can't do anything if you are too tired." Gwaine said.

"Yes. I'll do so, but first I have to… Lancelot, how bad of a shape are the roads?"

"Really bad. Why?"

"No matter. I was thinking to ask Druids but…"

"You can't get anybody out there right now. And it's looks like it is going to snow more tonight." Lancelot sounded gloomy.

"Then, we have to deal this with what we have."

Lancelot and Gwaine looked each others. Gaius didn't sound too sure about that. This was going to be long night.


	5. What are you?

_Because I promised this is longer chapter, I hope you all enjoy this._

_Thanks you all your reviews and your alerts, they make may day, I'm so happy because this is came somehow popular than I though. Maybe even popular than my Blind future story. And if there is someone thinking about that story's future, yes, there is sequel to come someday._

_Thanks again TheJunebug1218_

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><p>Gwaine looked at Merlin and how he tried to freed himself of the limb restraints. But he was still in a deep sleep. The floating stopped just before midnight, but Merlin was becoming more restless than before. Gwaine sighed. It was difficult to see how much Merlin was suffering<p>

For the first time since they met, Gwaine considered Merlin being his friend. He often tried to think why, but he had given up. There was no main reason. There were lot of reasons. Merlin was so different. He was kind and generous. He was so innocent and naïve. He always wanted to save everyone, even if that mean that he got hurt himself. And he was loyal to his friends. But in time, Gwaine had observed more. In Merlin there was a hard side, full of secrets. And he was surprisingly wise. He always noticed something that anyone else would just ignore. Merlin questioned things. He didn't scared easily, he was just too careful. Merlin was so much braver than a man and his sword. Gwaine was half sleep when he was startled and jumped up to Merlin's scream, which was full of despair and sorrow.

"Freya!"

()

Gaius was asleep and Lancelot was promised to wake him up early in the morning.

Lancelot browsed the book. It was full of stories of the Old Religion. There was mentions to a case like Merlin's, but nothing quite similar. Merlin really was a original being. Human, and not human. Lancelot never ever thought about that. Why should he? Merlin was his friend. He has magic, sure, but that's it. In Merlin's bones there were no evil. But when Lancelot was reading those stories he noticed that there were always choice between the good and the evil. So somewhere in Merlin was the dark side, but he couldn't believe that it was dangerous. Merlin was harmless being, only using his gifts for good. He never wanted to hurt anyone. He never got credit for anything that he'd done. Lancelot couldn't believe that this was happening to Merlin. Merlin's scream startled him out of his thoughts and woke Gaius.

()

"Merlin?"

Merlin stood there, in front of the lake. He looked tired and ill.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Arthur tried to grab his friend's arm, but it went right through him. Merlin didn't notice him.

"So, if this is a dream, it's a weird dream. I just have to say that I haven't ever saw you in my dreams. Or that I can remember. And what is this place?" Arthur looked at the lake. It wasn't anything special. It was a lake. But something was wrong. It was chilling feeling in the Arthur's core. He looked again Merlin and saw how he cried. It frightened Arthur. He suddenly saw how much in pain Merlin was. Merlin drop on his kneels, lowered his hand to the water. His nails bite into the sand.

"Freya!" Merlin cried.

Arthur woke up. He was sweating. Something was wrong with Merlin.

()

Arthur rushed to Gaius's chambers, but there was only Gaius. The whole room was in chaos. "Where is he?"

"Sire?"

"Where is he?" Arthur insist to know.

"Merlin. He left. Lancelot and Gwaine… Wait! Sire!"

But Arthur was gone and he followed his instinct. He headed to the nearest door.

He saw Gwaine and Lancelot stand at the door, looking in the snowstorm.

"Where he is? Where's Merlin?" Arthur breathed.

"He's outside." Gwaine reported. Arthur saw that he was bruised. In his forehead was small cut.

"Outside of what?"

"Outside of the castle."

"You mean there, in that snowstorm?"

"Yes."

"Oh gods."

They looked the snowstorm.

"I can't even saw two feet forward. How the hell are we going to find him there?" Gwaine asked and looked directly to Arthur. Arthur closed his eyes momentarily, collecting his thoughts. But before he found time to say anything, Lancelot said.

"Go after him. We will follow you after we have taken some winter clothes. But someone has to go right now."

"Yes, I'll go." Arthur agreed. Gwaine offered him his jacket and his gloves and Arthur took them. Then he was gone. Then Gaius was there.

"No! Sire!" Gaius yelled but was dragged back inside.

"Let him. I think this should happen now." Gwaine said.

"But if Arthur doesn't accept his magic… "

"This problem is because Merlin has to make a decision. But how can he do anything before he has dealt with Arthur? Before he knows what Arthur thought of him and his magic? Don't you think so?" Lancelot asked.

"Yes."

"Then let Arthur deal with this now. If I understand correctly, they are connected, aren't they? Their destinies are to be together somehow. Am I right?"

"Yes." Gaius repeated. He was crushed. "They are the different side of the same coin. Their destiny is intertwined together more tightly than anyone in these times. They are the future of this kingdom. They are the future of the whole Albion."

"Then we have to wait that Arthur's make his own decision. Merlin has to know."

"And if he refuses to help Merlin?"

"If and if. Don't you trust them? Don't you trust their friendship?" Gwaine asked quietly. "Merlin is loyal to Arthur, and Arthur, its time to know if Arthur is loyal to Merlin."

()

Merlin's arm dropped heavily and trembling he fell onto the snow. He didn't know how far he had run. Desperately he tried to get himself under control.

"Freya, Freya, help me.."

But there was no Freya. It was only a cold winter night and lots and lots of snow. It's freezing, but he ignored it. The pain is more powerful. It is so parching. He feel himself being so alone. Everything. Oh gods, everything hurts. It all blurs into agony. The pain is just too much. Is this punishment from something? Isn't loosing Freya and his father enough? The thought strikes deep, and before he can stop himself, a sound come up from his throat and past his lips. Laugh, desperate, hysterical laugh. And then the laugh turns into the crying. Apparently the gods have not punished him enough.

()

Arthur followed the transients trails. Out of the castle. The gate was all the way open. The lock was broke. Because the snowstorm there were no guards outside. So Arthur run out of the city. But not faraway from the city, he found him.

Merlin was down over his knees. He held his head with his arms. His back was moving up and down in short, jerking movements when he breathed

"Go away. Please, leave me." Arthur hardly heard him over the wind.

"No Merlin. You have to tell me what's wrong."

"I can't, I can't…" Merlin whispered. Then the pain took him. It rose deep inside of him, deep in his heart and soul.

"Merlin, are you alright? Look at me! Merlin!"

Slowly, Merlin raised his head. He looked at Arthur. He knew that his eyes betrayed him when he saw how Arthur took in a sharp breath and backed off.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I'm sorry…"

"You, you are… What is happening Merlin? What are you?"

"It hurts… It hurts, Arthur." Merlin's voice was weak and tears fall over his cheeks. "It felt like it would never end." His breathing was irregular. He screamed. Merlin's cry made Arthur hurried back again to Merlin. Merlin tried again use his fingers and scratch himself like something was on his skin. Arthur tried to take hold of Merlin's arms before he could hurt himself more. He didn't want to see Merlin like this.

"Merlin, tell me. What is wrong? Is it, is it your… magic?" Arthur asked. He couldn't understand. He hoped that it wasn't what he think it was.

"My magic, yes, my magic, my power, I can feel it. It rises inside of me. It's so powerful, so endless. And it hurts." Merlin breathed.

Arthur swallowed heavily. "How long have you had this… power?"

"My whole life. I'm born with it. But nothing like this. Gaius said that, it is something, something that I have to go through. My birthday, my power… Arthur, help me, please help me, I can't, I want it stop, it hurts. " Merlin cried and Arthur hold him tight. He didn't fully understand, but Merlin was in pain.

"Monster… I'm monster… Not human…" Arthur heard how Merlin whispered. His eyes were closed, tears still running.

"It's freezing Merlin. We have to go back to the castle. We can't stay here." Arthur tried to hoist Merlin up but Merlin fall back to the snow. His body felt suddenly boneless. Arthur saw how Merlin lay before him, sleeping again. He didn't know the whole truth, he didn't know what was going on and he hated it. He hated to see Merlin like this, weak and powerless. But was Merlin powerless? He was magic. But right now Arthur didn't want to even know. He wanted them back in the castle. Then he heard the yelling and knew that the knights were coming. He answered their call.

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><p><strong>TBC<strong> next week...


	6. What are you going to do Arthur?

_I updated this sooner than I though._

_Next two chapters work together, so it's like one longer chapter._

_I hope you like it this way._

_Thanks TheJunebug 1218_

* * *

><p>Arthur pondered. He thought over and over again what Gaius was said. They brought back Merlin and he listened over two hours to how Gaius, and sometimes even Lancelot, explained to him who and what Merlin was. Then he returned to his chamber. He wasn't able to look at Merlin before he left.<p>

_Help me! It hurts!_

Arthur punched the wall and he didn't even realized how the knuckles began to drip blood.

"How could you ask me something like that? How could you hide something like that? You, of all people, why?"

He punched again and now he was stirred from the pain.

"Damn idiot." He muttered and looked his hand. "You are just an idiot Arthur, an idiot."

Something came his mind. Something what Merlin was said long time ago.

_I'm happy to be your servant, until the day I die_…

"Stupid, how could you say so. I don't want you to die. You don't have any use to me if you are dead. Stupid, stupid Merlin."

There was a loud knock at the door. Arthur hesitated but finally he said.

"Come in."

It was Gwaine. He looked Arthur's tired face and his bleeding hand.

"Better than I thought. Come here, I'll look that hand of yours." Gwaine sighed.

"Physician now?"

"I have hurt my own hand so many times to know what to do after."

"You and people around you don't get along very well."

Gwaine gave a laugh and made Arthur sit in the chair.

"Sometimes yes. As with you. But sometimes I get along really well. Like Merlin."

"I don't know if there is anyone who doesn't get along well with him."

"What I have heard, you two didn't at first. What changed your mind?"

"Time, I guess. How I saw what kind of man he is."

"Did it take a long time for you to notice?"

"No, not at all. Not really. But I was too… too arrogant to say anything. To admit it to myself."

Arthur watched how Gwaine cleaned his hand.

"You really are good at this."

"Said so. There you go."

"Thanks Gwaine."

"He need you Arthur. Now. He has to know what you think."

Arthur stood up.

"But remember this. If you hurt him, I hurt you."

Arthur looked Gwaine and saw that he was serious. The knight looked tired as well.

"Alright." Was all what he could say.

()

The scream was first what greeted them.

Merlin was again in restrains. Now even his legs were tied.

"That won't hold him long." Gwaine muttered and Arthur hurried to Merlin. Merlin tried to wrench himself free. He tossed and squirmed and screamed. When he saw Arthur he looked terrified.

"Arthur?"

"Stop this Merlin, you'll hurt yourself."

Merlin laughed. It was a maniac and lunatic laugh.

"It's hurt already. Endless pain. I can't get away of it. I just hope that I can die."

"Don't say that!"

But Merlin just laughed. His laugh turned again into screaming. It was torture to see him like that. Like a madman. But Arthur set his hands to Merlin's face, holding his head to look into his tormented eyes.

"Listen to me."

Merlin tried to look away but he couldn't.

"Listen to me. I'm angry Merlin. I'm really really angry with you, but you know what? It doesn't matter. I can't hate you. Even if I try I can't hate you. I can be angry to you, and when this is over we must speak. I feel myself betrayed. It hurts to know that you are something that I've learned to despise. But still Merlin, I never can hate you. Because you are you, you are Merlin. Wise, clumsy, loyal, and a good hearted friend of mine. What ever you are, you belong by my side. So fight Merlin. Fight. Don't give up when you are came this far. Merlin? Merlin! Gaius!"


	7. Over the edge

Again he felt that he was tied to the bed, now even his legs.

He tried to get himself free. His muscles tensed. Put then the pain hit. Like the ice. The fire. Ice again. Both at the same time. He screamed. Clean scream of pain. Only the agony was there.

_I want to die, I can't hold this anymore._

He opened his eyes, seeking Gaius. There must be some poison or something. But what he saw was blonde man who hurried over him. It was Arthur.

_Oh gods, he knew._

"Arthur?"

"Stop this Merlin, you hurt yourself."

Merlin laughed. He knew that it sounds like a maniac and lunatic. He felt the madness inside of him. It felt good to laugh. It eased the pain. It was easier to endure.

"It hurts already. Endless pain. I can't get away from it. I just hope that I can die."

"Don't say that!"

Merlin laughed. His laugh turned again screaming. Merlin though that maybe Arthur run away. But Arthur set his hands on his face, holding his head to look into his tormented eyes.

"Listen to me."

He tried to avoid Arthur's gaze. He didn't want to see him now. He wanted him go away, far away from him. To safety.

"Listen to me. I'm angry Merlin."

_Of course you are, I hid this from you._

"I'm really really angry to you, but you know what? It doesn't matter. I can't hate you."

_You don't hate me? You don't hate me? You can accept what I'm?_

Merlin felt himself relieved. He relaxed. He gazed how Arthur's mouth shaped more words.

"Fight! "

_Fight? _

Everything turned upside down.

()

It was like someone was wrapping him in a warm blanket.

There was no pain. There was nothing. His eyes meet only the darkness.

He realized that could move, but when he stumbled forward there was nothing.

His hands meet only the darkness.

_Merlin._

The chorus echoed around him. Merlin stopped.

"Who are you?" He whispered.

_We are the Oldest. Why you are here Merlin?_

"I don't know."

_You know very well Merlin. Why you are here?_

Merlin hesitated. "Because… my power? Because my magic?"

_Yes._

Like Gaius thought, Merlin sighed. "Why is this happening to me?"

_Everyone of the Old Religion have to make a decision. _

"Decision? But I already have made mine." Merlin was still baffled.

_No, you didn't._

"Then why? What decision do I have to make?" He demanded to know.

_You tell us Merlin._

"What?"

_You have to tell us Merlin, you have to tell us your reasons. Why should we give you this power?_

"You give me that power?"

_Yes. What do you think about your magic Merlin?_

"I believe that my magic was given to me for a reason."

_And what is that reason? Is it your beloved Arthur?_

"There are many reasons. Arthur is only part of it. But it is what we can create together. The Albion. A whole united Albion. Peace for the whole realm. To bring back the magic."

_Aren't you a little bit naïve?_

"Maybe." Merlin admitted.

_Then why?_

He took deep breath.

"Because I believe. I believe in my destiny, our destiny. Because I believe Arthur and I can see what he can do. I can see the Round Table now, I can see the way and I believe in that."

_But do you believe in yourself Merlin? Do you believe that you can handle all this power what we are going to give you? That you can use it right?_

Merlin didn't even thought before he answered.

"No."

Silence.

" How could I. This power is… I don't even have word to it. How can I ever field something like that?"

_Are you afraid?_

"YES!"

Silence.

_So, I give you only one bit of advice. Accept the darkness inside of you Merlin._

And the warmth was gone.

And the pain was there again.

And he felt himself fall over the edge.

* * *

><p>TBC I think it take some time now...<p> 


	8. Can you hear them?

"Gaius!"

Merlin was motionless. His eyes were open but his iris was moving.

Then Gaius was there and Arthur let go of his grip on Merlin. He watched as Gaius fussed and checked over Merlin. Arthur felt someone's hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at Lancelot who looked worriedly at Merlin.

Suddenly Merlin's body jerked. His eyes blinked and they all looked into the golden eyes.

"NO!"

Arthur slapped his hands on to his ears, stepped back and shut his eyes. He was sure that whole Camelot could hear that scream. He heard the glass and clay bottles shatter. Gwaine cursed and Arthur looked his way. Beside Gwaine was something like acid that was flowing onto the floor and was making a hole in the wood.

"Gaius?" Lancelot was beside of Merlin, looking the old physician.

"He is alive. But he isn't responding at all." Gaius's hand gently smoothed Merlin's hair.

All of sudden the door blew open and there was Leon.

"Sire, you are here! Where did that scream come from?"

Arthur realized that it was almost midday and of course Leon was looking him.

"How well did you heard that scream?" He asked.

"Pretty clear. I was just on the corner to coming here. I think everyone around here heard that."

"Yes, that's what I thought. But how many thought that it came from in here?"

"Not many I think. It echoed all around. It was like ghost's cry." Leon shut the door behind him.

"Ghost's cry. I like it. So be it. I don't want anyone to know it came from here."

"But what was that?" Leon asked.

Arthur turned his gaze to Merlin.

"Oh." Leon nodded. "What is wrong with him?"

Arthur and everyone else shared the look.

"I think…" Gwaine started and Arthur's eyebrows rose lightly. Gwaine's forehead wrinkled. "I think we need help Arthur."

"Why?"

"Because you have duties to attend to. You are the regent. I don't think that Leon is looking for you for some insignificant reason."

"Sire, the court." Leon said. "They are waiting."

"And we all need rest. I bet we can trust Leon."

"And Percival. And Gwen." Lancelot added.

"I think that Gwaine is right. I need someone to look after him while I search for more information. And you three need the rest. And that is the doctor's order sire."

Arthur was silent for a moment. He looked Merlin.

"This is not our secret to reveal."

"We need not read the law." Gwaine shrugged his shoulders.

"And you know that best, don't you."

"Let me handle Merlin after this if you are afraid the consequences."

They looked at each other.

"Alright. Leon, go get Lady Guinevere and Sir Percival. And Sir Elyan. Hurry." Arthur gave in.

"What about the court?"

"Go. Find Gwen and the knights. Lancelot, can you go and give a message to the court that we will meet again in the evening."

"Yes sire."

And both knights were gone.

"I want to be the one to tell them." Arthur said and Gaius and Gwaine nodded their agrees.

"Then you go and sleep." Gaius ordered.

"I'll try Gaius. I'll try."

()

No pain, was Merlin's first thought. He was lying on the ground and he felt the sand under his hands. He saw the blue sky over him and the treetops far on the left side of him. Merlin tried to push himself up, but he couldn't move. His legs and body didn't respond to him, only his arms worked. He turned his head to look his surroundings. He was on the shore of the lake. The lake what he knew very well.

"Freya." He called again. His voice was barely whisper. His hand reached the waterline. "Freya." He begged and reached deep inside of himself. It was very raw magic. Merlin never realized that. What he held inside of him was a very pure form of magic. Through his whole life, magic has been natural to him. He ever even though about it before he came Camelot. But now he felt something more. In the edge of his familiar magic he felt a power that was overwhelming. It was attractive and seductive. He tried to push it away, now afraid of it. Merlin felt how it tried to take the control over him. And he knew that somewhere inside of that power was the pain.

"I can't take it. I can't. How I could? It is not for me, I can't handle that. Go, go away. Please. Take it away. Somebody, please."

And the power withdrew and Merlin breathed again easily. He looked to the lake. Something was coming from the lake, arose from the water. It was woman whit dark hair and red dress.

"Merlin." Her voice was soft and sad.

"Freya, you came." Merlin smiled.

"I'm sorry that it took such a long time my dear Merlin." Freya sat beside Merlin and gave him smooth kiss.

"You are here." Merlin's hand swept Freya's face. There were tears.

"I heard you Merlin. I heard your cry. I wish that I can help you, but I can't. I can only be here because of your memory of me. Here I can't use my power. This lake is only a reflection of the real one. I can only hold you and remind you who and what you are Merlin. I can help you to listen to them."

"Listen to who?"

"Don't you hear them Merlin. Your friends. Your loved ones. Your companions. Listen. And then you have to make your decision."

"But I don't want that power. It is not for me. I can't…"

"Hush Merlin. What the Old Religion want's… what the Oldest want's is never easy to understand. But if you listen, you may understand something. If you listen to those who are so dear to you, you can finally accept yourself and move on."

"Freya?" Merlin's voice was full of despair.

"Finally, you have to make the choice if you are going to be afraid or not. Do you accept yourself or not. Do you accept your full power or not. Do you choose to follow the dark path or not. Do you choose the easy way were there is no pain or sorrow, or do you choose the hard way full of pain and sorrow. Can you really understand what it takes to follow your dream, your destiny? But right now I ask you to just listen and I hope that you find your answers."

Freya set her hands over Merlin's ears and smiled.

"Can you hear them?"

And Merlin listened.

He nodded slowly.

There was familiar voices somewhere in the back of his mind.

"Good. Now we can see if you can really understand them. Close your eyes. And listen."

And Merlin listened.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Thanks TheJunebug1218<em>

_I hope you all like this chapter, the next chapter is going to be hard to write and after that I don't know where to go. Again I think how to end story. It's always so hard job to do._


	9. You can hear them talk to you

_Sorry, I have been sick, but here it is again. Thanks TheJunebut1218_

* * *

><p>"When I met you, I realized that you were something else. Do you know that you were the first one who I ever kissed? I often though why I did that...<p>

How should I say this…

I can feel you when I'm with Arthur. He and me, we belong together. I know that. But… every time when I'm with him, when I kiss him, I also feel you there. Deep inside of him, like you two are the same.

And then there is him. My world is on fire. I let myself feel… wishing for something real. I chased the shadows. I'm so in shame …

Now I'm afraid if you are not here, I can't …

Maybe it's too late…

You know, when I looked at you, how you moved on with a smile, I so envied you.

Now I can see that there are fears that are left unspoken.

I heard that you called someone when you ran into the storm.

Was she your love?

Is she gone?

Sorry.

But… believe there is love for everyone. I should know that.

You just have to let go.

I just think, can I?"

()

"What can I say? I don't think that they, whatever they are, can really harm you. I'm sure of it. Because I know you. I don't know what they really want but the choice, I think it's only a part of it. A small part of it. Whoever knows anything sure about the Old Religion. I have read a lot of books today. I'm tired and…

I saw that she has cried. I have never seen her so sad. Do you know how hard it is see her crying…

Oh hell, this is like a two faced drama rebellion. Sometimes I wish that I haven't ever came in here. My father said to me that place your cards as they're coming. I came, and I lost something really special to me. But I also gained something more. Was that similar to you when you came here? You have lived in fear for such a long time in here. Now that I've stayed here longer, I have seen something. Something about you. When I look at you in the middle of this I… I'm not sure. Do I see fool, king, servant, or what. Make your choice because you can't be everything."

()

"I can see how you breath. Sometimes I see the pulse on your neck. I feel myself so numb. It's so unreal to see you laying there, not moving, not joking, not smiling. Do you already see Elysium, the world of afterlife. Do you hear them calling you. I have seen that many times, more than once, more than I wish to have ever seen. I have heard them too, but I have never followed them, never stepped inside of land of the dead. I just walked the space in-between. But every time I see or hear it, I can taste the blood on my lips.

Merlin, my friend, after I met you I haven't seen a thing of Elysium.

Before I met you I was afraid to lose my soul in the dark. My core of soul was burning. But you showed me the light side of life. You saved me and I'm grateful for you forever for that.

If you go before me, wait there until my last day and I buy you the beer. But don't go yet. I want to drink with you in here, the world of living. I want to celebrate your birthday tomorrow and drink with you under the table. It's a deal, right Merlin? It's a deal."

()

"Somehow I find the comfort in that snowstorm. It's like my mind just now. I feel lost. Do you know what is funny. It feel like my other side is left behind.

Merlin, you have been here all the time, even in my darkest times, you have been here at Camelot, beside of me. Or behind of me. I want to overcome my worry. Worry of my father, worry of my future, worry of you.

Merlin, you are hiding again. You are hiding from yourself. Why? What I have heard, you are the bravest man in the Camelot. Seriously. I hardly can believe that. You, my servant, being my protector. Oh Merlin.

You know these men in the Camelot, the court. All of them full of expectations. They want the perfect King to rule them. They don't see anything in the imperfections. Every little word cut deep. I feel like I wear a mask everyday. It's feel like the more I show them, the less they really know. And they don't know me. They don't know me like you do.

It's like something inside of me is at the same time fragile and unbreakable when you are beside me. Because of you I can feel that they cannot take away what I believe, what I am.

I need you Merlin. Now when you are out of my reach, I miss you. I learned to breath again under my duty because you were there. I need you to bring the wisdom that I need to survive.

I need your ridiculous wide smile. I need you to roll your eyes and say what you think. I need someone who say the truth about me. And … I really need your magic too. Because, even if you know me, I also know you. Fight Merlin, fight, and come back to us."

()

"Where are you now? Can you hear me? For once you can't say anything, do you? It is weird to see you so quiet. Do you still remember, when you came here? I can never forget that. You saved my life.

Do you remember what it was before the weight of your destiny? I can't. You chanced everything.

You wore the crown of illusion and now it's gone. Now you can know what it feels to shine. Now they can see you. They can see what kind you truly are. That you are not an idiot, or monster, and that magic isn't evil all the time.

You have to know that you never are hated. That your life is not wasted. You should be proud.

I am. I'm so proud of you. You are like son to me. Merlin, please, hear me. You are starting to fade. Don't leave us. Merlin. Don't leave me my son."


	10. Falling awake

_It's like I'm falling..._

_The fall is long..._

_._

_._

_._

_ but then I hit the ground._

_I'm wake again._

_The pain is there again._

_Freya is gone._

_._

_I can't hear them anymore. I yearn for them. But now they are only phantom voices. There is no anymore words to follow to the real world. There is only the dying memories of them._

_._

_I just lay... and wait, withdrawing into my mind, into my sanctuary of silence._

_._

_I wonder about my defence. _

_I wonder about the nothingness._

_I wonder about the pain._

_I wonder about the choice._

_I wonder about my friends, my family._

_I wonder about my destiny._

_._

_._

_._

_I forgot to breath._

_For a while I come liberated from my cell._

_I overcome oblivion._

_I welcome the mercy of the hollow and cold sensation._

_And I'm dreaming..._

_._

_There is waves of melodies, thunder of words, __all of them once forgotten._

_._

_I never knew that I could hear them._

_I never knew that I could reach them._

_I never knew that they can hear my calling._

_._

_Breath..._

_._

_._

_._

_When I breath again, I can't hear them._

_Now I feel the loneliness._

_Without those words and sounds there is only emptiness._

_I wonder if that is only a dream, a dream that lives inside of me._

_Can I awake that dream?_

_.._

_Do I want to do that?_

_._

_._

_._

_The yearning is too much._

_I stop breathing._

_And I fall again over the edge._


	11. The Choice

"Gaius?"

Gwen set her hands over the older man's shoulders.

"Gaius, is… is everything alright?"

"Gwen?"

"How is Merlin?"

They looked at Merlin who lay still, his chest barely moving.

"Not well. I… I afraid that he is… that he is not going to make it." He felt Gwen's hold on his shoulder tighten.

"His breathing stopped from time to time. Every time it takes more and more time to normalize, and every time it takes a shorter time before it falls again."

Gwen sobbed. She released her grip. "How long?" She asked simply.

"It's after midnight. It's his birthday today. He is born at midday. If he isn't then…" Gaius's voice crashed. He raised his gaze to Gwen. His eyes were red from crying.

"Does Arthur… know?"

Gaius shook his head. "No."

"Should I go and…"

"Let him sleep. He is usually here before dawn." Gaius sighed. Gwen nodded. She didn't really want to leave anyway. She sat on the nearest bench.

()

Arthur was tired, but he couldn't sleep. He wandered around his room picking up some of his belongings, trying to place them in their own spot. But without Merlin it was difficult. Over the years Merlin took the control over the prince's everyday matters. Clothes, weapons, cleaning, horses, every single little detail of the chamber. Arthur sneered. Of course Merlin hadn't been so useless servant than what he stated. Actually Merlin was too good servant in his own way. Because Arthur trusted him, Merlin could do his job the way he wanted. Nowadays Arthur didn't control Merlin at all. Arthur realized how much he depended on Merlin. He remembered how Merlin sat down at his right side at the Round Table. It was the place of trusted advisor. In the left was his heart, in the right was his dearest friend.

Arthur stopped.

If Merlin… if Merlin couldn't survive, what then? What if…

Arthur heart skipped the beat from fear.

"Merlin."

()

_I wake up again._

_The pain is still there._

_I'm afraid._

_I'm lost._

_It's never the same place._

_I close my eyes._

_I stop breathing again._

_And I dream again._

_I use new words and sounds._

_They comfort me._

_I feel safe._

_I drift away._

_I'm looking for the way out of these walls._

_Out of the silence, out to the living world._

_But in my dreams I feel Immortal, there I'm not scared at all, there is no pain._

_In my dreams I can leave the hurt behind me._

_In my dreams everything is alright, no more death to fear._

_But in my dreams, there are no friends of mine._

_When I awake they are there, so far and so close at the same time. _

_I want them know how much I miss them._

_But the dark side of me whispers to me._

_And I dream again._

_I drift away again and again…_

_Before I know it, the time has come._

_Can I do it?_

_The Choice?_

_The power is whispering to me. _

_The darkness is whispering to me._

_My friends voices are whispering to me._

_The Death is whispering to me._

_The Choice?_

_What should I do…_

()

Arthur's hand stopped on the door handle. Overwhelming fear and he shivered all over. Something was wrong. He had to collect all his courage to push the door open. He saw Gwen, crying, her the face image of despair. Like the whole world just crumbled down. And there was Gaius, kneeling beside Merlin, whispering something to the boy who just seemed to sleep.

Slowly Arthur walked Merlin's other side. How peaceful Merlin appeared. Arthur set his palm to Merlin's cheek. It was cold. Merlin didn't responded in any way.

"He is dead." Arthur said, his voice was calm and quiet. Gaius whispering quieted down. Gwen screamed and she collapsed on the floor. Arthur felt himself numb and he just stared Merlin. He let the words sink. He needed to sit down before his legs were going to give up.

"Dead." He repeated and his gaze drifted to Gwen. He vaguely noticed Lancelot holding his bride. He barely heard Gwaine's exclamation when the knight rushed through the door into the room. Only one thing echoed in his mind.

_Dead._

_Merlin is dead._


	12. Goodbyes

_This chapter is to you Dragonprotector and my thanks to you that I got inspiration._

_And ofcourse, thank you TheJunebug1218 (you should all read her works too)._

* * *

><p>"Come on Merlin, wake up, don't you dare die!" Gwaine yelled. Arthur watched Leon drag him away and the knight broke, crying on the floor. He noticed Gaius close Merlin's eyes, in such a gentle way. Arthur picked up Merlin's cold hand. Long fingers, with so many calluses from hard work. Cuts what were healing. Black fingertips from some chemicals. They seemed to be full of life. Merlin's life. Life that was not easy, full of secrets and fear. Full of battles. Full of hardships, but also so much of joy and happiness. All gone now. Why?<p>

"Why didn't you fight Merlin?" Arthur whispered. "You are not as soft as you seem. You are my protector, you fought for me all this time. For Camelot. For your friends. Why don't you fight for your own sake? Why do you always sacrifice yourself and never say anything?" Arthur's voice hardened.

"Gods, I haven't slept, I'm so tired.. I'm waiting for you to wake up. And now you dare to go and die. I'm not allowing you to do that, do you hear me Merlin? You lazy useless idiot!"

Arthur dropped the hand.

"How you dare leave us like this Merlin."

"Arthur…" Gaius tried to say something, but Arthur was just too angry.

"Shut up! I can say whatever I want. He is dead now. Merlin is dead. He is not coming back. " Arthur was furious. He stood up and headed to the door. But Percival was there, blocking his way.

"OUT OF MY WAY!"

Percival shook his head. Arthur tried to hit him, but against the giant knight, it was useless to try. Percival just caught his fist, rolled him over and locked his hand. Arthur fell to the floor. Arthur cried out. Percival undid his grip. Arthur didn't stand up. This time his painful cry stemmed from deep inside of him.

Gwaine finally snapped out of his own grieving. He stood again beside Gaius, looking his friend.

"Do you hear princess Merlin. He is angry. We all are sad. But.. I… I don't understand… I mean… I thought that I knew you. I always believed you. I always saw you so strong, standing beside us. Always there when the danger is highest. And now… now my birthday surprise is ruined. Because of your folly!" Gwaine took deep breath to calm himself. "Sorry mate. Over reacted. Sorry. Sleep well my friend." He patted the shoulder. Then Gwen was there, taking support from Lancelot. She leaned forward and kissed Merlin's lips. So cold lips.

"Goodbye Merlin." She cried. Lancelot didn't say anything. He couldn't. He just looked his friend and held Gwen close to him, seeking some comfort. Percival helped Arthur to stand again.

"Are you… alright sire?" Percival asked friendly. Arthur saw tears the knight's eyes.

"Thank you. Sorry that I tried to hit you."

Percival just shook his head and smiled little. Arthur turned to look Gaius.

"Gaius, do you need anything?" Arthur asked.

"No, I… can handle this. I do the all preparation to the… funeral." It was hard to say. Gaius looked his ward. So young to die. Too soon.

"No, not alone, we'll all help you." Gwen said. The others nodded their agreements. Finally Arthur stepped again beside the bed to look at Merlin.

"Sorry that I was so terrible a friend for you. I'm sorry that I call you idiot. Wait, I'm not sorry about that. You were an idiot. Idiot not to tell me sooner. Found your secret like this. You are helpless. But I miss you already. I miss you so terribly." Arthur fell silent. He couldn't say that. He couldn't say his goodbyes to Merlin. He wasn't ready. He turned his back and his steady intention was walk away for his own chamber and mourn alone. But he didn't find time leave when he heard a weak whisper.

"Clotpole."


	13. One last thing to do

"Clotpole."

Time stopped when Arthur heard that word. He shut his eyes. Praying and begging for gods he hope that he was heard it right.

"Merlin?"

"You… said… fight." The whisper was so weak, like there was no any strength left. It was just a sigh. Arthur turned to look. Merlin's eyes were golden. Beautiful, bright, and golden. Full of life. Arthur smiled.

"And you fought."

"Of… course." Merlin's smile was a ghost to his normal one, but Arthur knew that he was going to see that bright smile again and again.

"Oh Merlin." Gwen was there, kissing the poor boy again.

"That… was… second time." Merlin noted.

"Actually, the third." Gwen smiled and she quailed at the memory of Merlin's cold lips. Now there was a hue of warm in them again.

"Mate, you really, really scared us." Gwaine sighed.

"Sor…ry."

"Don't worry. It is over now. Isn't?" Arthur realized Merlin looked scared.

"I.. I… Gaius…" Merlin turned his head to look his mentor. But before Gaius have time to do anything, the wave of power reached them. They blew backwards and everything in the room shattered to asunder. Merlin felt the power, how it rose inside of him, testing him. It wasn't over yet. There was one thing to do. He rose to sit, he lowered his pare foot onto the floor and stood up. He stood there, so full of power that it tickled his skin. He blocked the power inside of the Gaius's chambers. One thing to do. One thing that frightened Merlin the most. He turned to look Arthur who moved clumsily out of the middle of the broken bookcase.

"What the hell was that Merlin?" Arthur swore, but stopped when he saw his servant. No, this wasn't his servant. This was the most powerful warlock in the land.

"I'm Emrys. I'm Merlin. I gained the power of the Old Religion. The Oldest gave me the rank of High Priest. My authority reach out over all the druids if I choose ever to use it. I hold the power to return the magic to these lands whenever I want. I hold the power to destroy your kingdom. But my destiny is to be with you, the Once and Future King, if you accept me."

That was it. It was done. Slowly Arthur rose. He thought over this, these past couple of days. The fear over his friend, his safety. He thought about the revelations, he thought about his sorrow when he believed that Merlin was dead. He thought of his joy just moment ago. He met Merlin's gaze. There was nothing. Merlin waited for him to answer. "To me…" Arthur started quietly.

"To me, you are Merlin, my closest friend, the brother who I never had. You once said that you would serve me until you die, and now I say this. I'll never let you down Merlin, you have my loyalty until the day I die."

Merlin browsed the prince. Arthur's voice, full of trust, mixed with desperation. His eyes begging Merlin to stop, to return to them.

"Then The Choice is done my king." Merlin nodded and a smile appeared on his lips. He let his power reach everyone of them. Warm golden magic, full of love. Merlin looked around him at the destroyed room and in one hand wave everything was set back in their places. He let the magic slowly flow away. It flowed out of the chamber's, radiating to the whole castle, out on the town, out to the forest. And when it reached everyone of the Camelot, they felt the warmness and the joy.

Merlin stood there, alone, middle of the room and everyone watched him full of wonder.

Finally, it was Gwaine who broke the silence.

"Happy birthday mate."

Merlin burst out laughing.

* * *

><p><em>I make you cry and smile, I'm so happy.<em>

_Pretty please, go my profile and check my Poll because after this I don't know what to do!_


	14. Midwinter Day

The joy and happiness was overwhelming on Midwinter Day. The feast was in full swing by the evening. And the room in the great hall was become narrower, as it filled with people. Only that two men was missing.

"Where is Gwaine and Lancelot? I thought that Gwaine would be here too, drinking himself under the table by now." Leon asked.

"In the infirmary." Percival answered.

"Why?"

"Because Gwaine thought that Merlin should have gotten his birthday present." Elyan tried to hide his smile.

"But he didn't consider that Merlin's power is little bit sloshy right now."

"Never, ever get involved with Gwaine's plans." Percival noted.

They all looked the main table where Arthur sat.

"So that's why the prince has a black eye?" Leon asked again. The others nodded. Leon looked at Merlin who stood right behind Arthur's chair.

"Don't ever play pranks on the most powerful warlock in the realm. " Percival noted again.

"Toast for that." Elyan smirked, but Leon hesitated.

"Can we really trust him?" He eyed the warlock behind Arthur's chair.

"Arthur trusts him. And Gaius and Lancelot have known for a long time now." Percival was calm, his eyes also on Merlin.

"And I don't think he would be capable of harming anyone or anything. What I have heard and what I have seen, Merlin is a goodhearted man who has no hunger for more power." Elyan said.

Leon picked up his chalice. "Then I won't say anything anymore. A toast for Arthur."

"For Merlin."

"And Camelot."

Arthur saw the knight toast.

"Will those two get here at all?" Arthur asked and glanced to Merlin. Warlock shook his head.

"No. Lucky that you got away from its verge."

"It was Gwaine's idea." Arthur murmured and looked sheepish.

"I'm sure it was." He heard Merlin laughing. Arthur smiled. The prank had been ridiculous. It was supposed to be a happy surprise, but Merlin was so scared that his magic had taken control. Arthur looked over to the table's other head and gazed at his father. Merlin and his magic. Only he was able to do something like this.

"He has been so happy today."

Uther actually laughed. It had been so long since Arthur had heard him laugh. Arthur rose and met his friend, face to face.

"Thank you Merlin."

Merlin just nodded. He looked a little bit off. Looking at his surroundings in sadness.

"Merlin? Are you alright?" Arthur put his hand to his friend's shoulder.

Merlin looked to Arthur.

What he could say to him? That the darkness inside of him, that rose it's ugly head, was threatening everything what he knew and loved. That he feared his new power.

But Merlin smiled.

He wasn't alone anymore.

He was blessed with strong and brave friends.

His faith was regained and all the tears were wiped away.

"Yes. Everything is alright."

* * *

><p><em>Hello<em>

_So this was the end of this story. Please, go check my profile and poll (when I look those results I can imagine what kind of people read my stories lol, you are evil, you know?)._

_ To those who think Blind future's sequel, it's coming, but after I have ended Before the dawn (it's pre-story to BF), but I'm already wrote the prologue lol. If you want know more I update my profile all the time. _

_My thanks again to TheJunebug1218 and ofcourse all the alerts and reviews what you have gave. _

_THANK YOU!_

_TheSaga_


	15. Author's note

Hello.

If you haven't already noticed, now there is sequel running, **Dark Edge**.

_TheSaga_


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